I am still completely shocked that I have a little baby girl growing and kicking inside me. I already have a son, and I knew it in my heart that my first baby would be a boy.
This pregnancy , I knew in my heart it was a girl, but I was confusing it with how badly I wanted and needed a girl!
My dad kept saying , if your like your mom, you will have two boys before a girl. Imagining the future of my family, I couldn’t picture another little boy… At least not yet… Maybe baby number 3.
My mom passed away when I was 16 and until I found out I was pregnant with my son, I was turning into a person I didn’t like dying down a path that would bring me nothing. Luckily , having my son saved me. I knew baby 1 wasn’t meant to be a girl. I was still young and haven’t grown into the woman I am now to be ready to take on a daughter. Now being 25, I know my heart needed this so be a baby girl. Since I lost my mom, I’ve been searching for the female connection, to not exactly replace my mom, I can never replace my mom, but to fill that hole, and unfortunately I never found it. So to have a daughter of my own is exactly what I need right now in life to repair my pain and hurt left of the my past. ❤
Now to the fear part, it’s a silly fear when I think of it, however it’s still a fear.
Growing up, I’ve always been a tomboy, I had 2 brothers, my main focus was always hanging with the boys over the neighborhood girls.
There’s only a hand full of women I get a long with now. I’ve never been one for gossip and drama. It’s never easy for me to connect with women, so I keep to myself and then that comes off like I’m stuck up and bitchy. Which anyone who knows me, yeah I’m on the tougher, strong minded side, but I’m overly weird and goofy. Overall, I wouldn’t say I’m afraid we won’t connect, but I would say I’m not use to the female connection.
Losing my mom and then our family falling apart so fast , I lost who I was for a while and it’s taken a while to gain myself all back. Even knowing all the progress I made on who I am and who I want to be , I’m just worried, I want make sure I’m the strongest women I can be because it’s what my daughter will need and what I want my daughter to look up to be.
In reality here, I’m thinking way to far into the future , but hey that’s what I do ❤ Mom life right?!?!
Every mom worries, why wouldn’t my goal to be the strongest women I can be for my daughter!
So I’ll continue to work on myself like the past few year better myself each day =]
Miss Eva Rey,you have no idea how excited your Momma, Daddy and Big brother are to have you come into this world and join our Family !!